Drivel, absolute drivel

by Byron Woodson II

I just read an article on yahoo news saying that your proclivity to introduce people to one another is all in your genes. That's just drivel. When i was a kid, to say i was a prolific talker would be an understatement. But when i got to school, after my first year of kindergarten (i did two in that klink) i stopped being so sociable. It might have been having to repeat (i was too young) or it might have been because another kid, my friend, brought a knife to school to stab me (still love philly public schools). Whichever the case, i stopped being so sociable.

Later in life, more so starting in high school i wanted to be part of the crowd. In college, i socialized with all different groups, not just those in my major, and even got myself elected to student government, hobnobbing with administrators. If you disregard the fact that i was sociable when i was real young, you notice that the number of friends i had was a function of what i wanted to do. When i wanted to be alone,i was alone. when i wanted to socialize, i had friends.

The way my fiancee has it i can't not talk to people. I enjoy it immensely. But that's partly because i think people are interesting, and partly because i like to talk, even though i'm a closet introvert (love alone time to read and think).

The article talks about whether your friends know each other is up to you. I agree with that. It also says that one step further, whether your friends know each other is up to your genes, meaning that they are the decider of whether you tend to introduce your friends to each other. I think that's a big stretch of anyone's imagination.

I think what's more important than whether you are disposed to or not is whether you do it. If nobody told you to introduce your friends to each other, you wouldn't do it. If you tried and had a bad experience, you would stop. The other way, if you introduced your associates to one another and they hit it off, a couple times. Then guess who is the new party thrower! Surprise.

I think it isn't nature. I think it isn't nurture. You've got to nurture your nature. Nature gives you an engine, nurture gives you a steering wheel. Happy driving.

So when you read the article, if you do, read it with a grain of salt. Oh yeah, the hooey of an article can be found here.

The art of Hello

by Byron Woodson II

My pitch is in tatters. I realize that I'm so spread out with the thousands of things i want to do, that i find it hard to communicate succinctly what it is i intend to do when meeting someone. It actually feels a bit weird going headfirst into the world of networking trying not to network, but to netweave.

I had two conversations today and proposed to both that we meet up sometime. Both of them got right to the point and asked what the intention of the meeting was. I felt a little exposed. "I'm dealing with professionals" i though to myself. Aiming simply to build relationships with someone seems a bit unfocused and nebulous up against the fast-paced world of outcome-specific networking. So when i started explaining what i wanted to accomplish, it started to click and the road got a little smoother.

So then i had to ask myself, what specifically could or should i be offering them that would help them in both the short-term and the mid-term. I've got my intention way down the long run. It's like asking someone to keep in contact for life without giving them a reason why?! So what i and we and you have to do is balance developing long-term relationships with short and mid-term outcomes. It's not an either/or proposition, it's a both/and. Even though you're out to build relationships and networks around you, keep in mind that the best way to do that is to have a focus. And it helps to be able to communicate it well.

Note to self: write a pitch for each area i want to make progress in . . .

Networking or Netweaving . . . what's the diff?

by Byron Woodson II

So, in recognizing what's been happening around me, i realize that there's a significant difference between networking as many people think about and practice it and netweaving. The state of networking today seems to be 'me, me, me' where the state of netweaving seems to be 'you, you, you'. i think of the distance between netweaving and networking across a continuum.

On the low end of the networking side you have networkers only looking to get clients and business for themselves. The next rung up you have people who are looking out for the people in their network, passing along tidbits and information among their group. On the highest rung you have people who are actively and avidly looking to bring other people together to make things happen.

I've heard the phrase 'relationship broker' and that sounds a little seductive. However, it seems that a relationship broker implies doing something between two parties. Netweavers, as they're called, don't just seek to broker relationships, but to build communities that may have a common cause or purpose, or build communities of like minded people.

Netweavers are constantly on the lookout for how they can help others. Networkers are constantly on the lookout for how to help themselves.

Inaugural post

by Byron Woodson II

Okay, so this post isn't as significant as the Presidential Inaugural last week. But hopefully its important in another respect, the flourishing of network weaving.

So I've been reading a few blogs of late about networking. I've been something of an avid consumer of these things for the last couple months and have learned quite a bit. I've also not heard a lot of what i wanted to here, so i'm going to tell you about what i think. Sure, it sounds kind of selfish at first glance, but i want to share with you, so it's not that bad.

What's network weaving, (netweaving)? You can think of Network weaving as networking plus benevolence. The aim of traditional networking is usually to connect yourself to more and more people so that you get more business, referrals, better job offers and the like. Network Weaving, by contrast, focuses on you gathering rather detailed information about the people around you, including their skills, challenges, needs and offerings, so that you can pass this information along to other people in your network.

If you've read The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell (who hasn't these days), then you get an idea of this in the form of the connector. I think many people looked at the connector and took away their love of people and how many people they knew. The special thing about connectors isn't that they know people, it's that they know people so they can introduce them to other people. In a metaphor, knowing lots of people is the wake behind the ship. But the engine of the ship is helping people solve their problems.

Well, that's enough for now. I'll probably be blogging pretty heavily in the next few days or weeks because i've got lots of information to download. So if you follow this blog it might be like drinking froma firehose. i'll try to keep it interesting, original and relevant.

Peace